Selenium
February is almost over. 2019 is both already flying by and not moving at all. Much of this year has been frustrating for me. I’ve allowed my life to be framed by waiting. Waiting to see if any jobs will respond to my applications. Waiting for to the condo in San Diego to rent out and start bringing in money. Waiting for some outside force to help make my current financial situation more secure.
While we were away at Christmas, I got the email alert that I had sold my first marketing blog post. It was short and it was cheap, but the company had indicated they preferred my work and would like me to write more. I was excited and hopeful. It seemed like writing might actually be a way to make money. Unfortunately, as January hit and we still had no rental income coming in, those hopes began to fade. My husband and I decided that trying to write was impractical, I had to find a job, and I had to do it fast. What followed were dozens upon dozens of applications for various positions. I can count the number of responses I received on one hand. I was almost universally ignored.
Am I overqualified? Maybe? But since there is no way to confirm that reasoning, it’s equally valid to assume that I’m no use to anyone. It’s not a great mental place to be in. Did I waste two months not writing in favor of sending out useless applications? Maybe? Does the answer to that even matter at this point? No.
The home has rented at this point, and though we haven’t received our first deposit of rental income, a twelve-month lease is signed. I can take a deep breath for the first time this year. I’m turning back to writing now, feeling like I have to start over, but certain that I would prefer to start over than continue to face rejections from places I don’t want to work. It feels right, and for the first time in weeks, I feel a tremendous sense of motivation.
All that was a very long intro to say, here are the things motivating me on this Monday:
Ideas
I seem to have caught a non-fiction/personal narrative bug and am excited to try out a few essay ideas.
Derby
I was recently drafted to a couple of teams in my new roller derby league. Having confirmed acceptance is a pretty powerful thing.
Sunshine
More than being grateful for bursts of sunshine peeking through the end of winter. I am grateful for the chance to be grateful for it. When the weather is different every day, I can actually appreciate the sun when I see it, and that makes me very happy.
Here’s to a week full of energy and motivation!!
